Sometimes,so strange feelings equip you that you cannot define as to what you feel,can't even explain to yourself.
It's a usual weekend.I and my Mom decide to spend some good time and we head out for shopping (the most usual stress buster for women folk).It's our usual life-is-like-this-and-that talk when a pungent smell comes through.
"Koi mar gaya hai",exclaims my Mom,punctuated with her typical,full of agony "Haaye".I am still thinking about my Reebok shoes,takes me a while to resgiter what she means.
It's a cemetry and a dead body is burning.
So, this is how burning of a human body smells like.
It's been years.Last time I mourned was when my grandpa died.The only time,I saw someone go away.I saw him being burnt. The thought of him --a human corpse inside flames lying helpless was as piercing that day as I felt it now.I go numb,thinking how it takes less than a moment for a person to go lifeless,the same person whom you love so much,spend all your time with,whom you can't live without and whose absence you never imagined.Now, he can't hear you,can't talk to you,can't respond to you and all you can do is to dispose off his mortal remains,lest they'll rot.It's just we make it look like a ritual,make it look like the start of a new journey,the truth of which,nobody knows.
But this is how we go,go on living, in denial of presence of death.
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nobody can help it.....all one can do is live the moment....no use thinkin about the future...easier said than done....i know..but there seems no other way other than.."Take everything as it comes"...these sound like ur words only :P
ReplyDeletehey didi..
ReplyDeletethis is what we call life... it moves on..
and it always makes us to move as it wants...
we have to accept everything... with positive note...
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ReplyDeletethat makes me remember my own grandpa, i'm at college in first year in mech workshop, filing an iron piece, wen i turn to see a relative of mine coming, he informs me that my grandpa just passed away. He was ill since many days. I go back to my home to see a small crowd gathered, they are all at the door while he's in his room. Curiously, nobody's with him inside. I dont know whether they're afraid or what. More cars at the gate.. more relatives arrive.. more condolences. Its soon decided to take his body to our village near bhiwani for cremation. With an elder cousin, I lift his body into a car. As i lift him I realize how heavy he his, even being thin. His joints have begin stiffening even so soon and its difficult to move him. people move away as we come along.. they fear his body, as if he could harm them now, as if death was contagious.
ReplyDeleteFour hours later, when we arrive, the crowd in his village house is much larger.. theres a lot of weeping.. most of it seems like its just being done as a tradition or ritual and not coz of unhappiness. Five hours later, for the first time in my life I see a tear in my fathers eye, as he lights the pyre.
But few days later, there is no prolonged sadness.. life has to go when it is time. there is no sadness in death. sadness is only because you were attached to that person, and he wont be there for you anymore. But if you think of him, he cant feel death. he's free now. lived his life.. i think i should be happy for him